They say having a healthy argument is a sign of a healthy relationship. However, when such arguments keep turning into messy fights, it could prove bad for a relationship. There are many things that we say during an intense fight which we regret later. We tell you what all you should not say to your partner, irrespective of how upset you are.
1.Bring up an old fight
Most of us have the tendency to open up old wounds, every time a fight erupts. We either say, “You also did this the last time” or “How could you do the same thing again.” Doing something like that takes the attention away from the issue at hand and brings all the past grudges and problems to the shore. Since you cannot change the past, bringing in old clashes would not really help save the case. You will just end up feeling all the more bitter and annoyed with the other person. So, it is best to try and keep the past away when you have a heated argument.
2.Make remarks about the partner’s parents
It is not fair to make harsh statements about your partner’s parents, just to get back at him. We all love our parents and a remark like that could really cause a lasting rift in the relationship. Also, try not to say things like “You are just like your father” or “I bet you got this from your side of the family.” Passing such rude and hurtful statements will not help at all and will just strain the relationship even more.
3.Express desire to end the relationship
Many a times when we are extremely angry or annoyed we say things like “I want a divorce” or “Choosing you as my boyfriend was a big mistake” or “I wish we had never met.” More often than not, these statements seem irrational after the fight cools down. However, the hurt that they might cause the other person, may not go away with the fight. Also, it may make the other person think about giving up on the relationship.
4.Use abusive language or curse words
No matter how upset you are, there is no reason to lose your civility and start using extremely abusive language or use curve words. It is important to at least treat the other person as a human, even when you are in a heated argument. Things like raising your voice or causing physical hurt should be a strict no-no. You must handle the situation maturely and not lose your good sense.
5.Playing the blame game
Saying things like “It is all your fault” will never help the situation. Always remember that when something goes wrong in a relationship, it is most likely the fault of both the partners. Blaming the entire thing on each other will not help. You must share the responsibility and try that the mistakes do not happen again.
6.Making comparisons to your ex
No matter how bad things are, do not start comparing your boyfriend or husband to your ex. This is bound to cause some serious problems and will have a long-term negative effect on your relationship. Bringing the ex into the picture will not do you any good at all. So, remember not to ever make comparisons to your ex, when you have a fight with your boyfriend or husband.
7.Things that you say just to hurt your partner
When we are really angry, there are many things that we say which are actually not true. We say such things simply to irk the other person and just to inflict some emotional pain. Know that doing something like this may make you regret your actions later and by then, it might be too late to undo the mistake.